no soup for you!

now i’m not the biggest seinfeld fan in the world, but i do think this soup nazi guy was way misunderstood. and this coming from a soup jew. but seriously, he had a system, an EFFICIENT system, and you better learn that system or get out of the way. so whhhhhy can’t other people and businesses learn from his example.

i ordered something from tinyshowcase a little while ago, and the usps tried to deliver it april 15. i wasn’t home, so they gave me that godawful pink slip letting me know when i could pick it up. after not being home some more, and being busy and being lazy and whatnot, i went to pick it up this morning on my way home from este’s house. i got there at about 10:50. at 11, it was my turn at the window (this may not seem like a big time to wait, by the way, but there was ONE person in front of me.).

i get to the window, very efficiently give them my slip and my id, as they ask you to, and the guy at the window disappears. i move to the right, where the put the packages for you once they find them, to free up the first window for the next person in line. no more than two minutes later, two hasidic guys on bluetooths come up next to and behind me, chattering away. loudly. keep in mind, they are not in the “official” line, which is to the left of me now. finally, a woman comes over and tells me that she has someone else (now a third person) looking for the package for me. as soon as she finishes, the guy next to me starts yelling about the mail that he’s come to pick up, and why isn’t there anything in the box (which is right behind the window)? so now she’s catering to him and the girl who’s in the ACTUAL line next to me, who i later find out has been sitting at home waiting for a package for the past two days that never got delivered. she ended up calling the national line for usps to get the damn thing taken off the truck so she could come pick it up. but she had to bring a full-sized suitcase with her because it was so big.

fast forward to 11:15… the second one comes up to the window, finally, and tells me she just can’t “find the damn thing anywhere”. i politely tell her that it’s been there for a week, so it has to be there somewhere, and she replies that it could be in “that big bin back there, but [i don't] have time to go through it.” i ask if someone ELSE could go through it. no. so she photocopies my slip, writes down my phone number and redelivery date, and starts talking to the next person in line.

NOT OKAY. not only is it not okay to keep me waiting so long without actually hearing from anybody what’s going on, but it’s not okay to talk to three other people in the meantime, and then blatantly not do your job in the end (by not finding the package). i’m really sorry that there are now four other people in line that are waiting (besides the very rude guys next to me), but i came here because you told me to and now you’re not even going to have the courtesy to give me what i came for? the object that YOU have potentially lost? that’s not how businesses work, lady.

so i come home and check the mailbox. i have three netflix videos waiting for me. three! you know why? because lucy and i sent three to THEM on tuesday. and they told us that they received those videos, and they’re going to return three new ones to us on thursday. and when one video didn’t get delivered two months ago? they resent it and then double-checked to make sure it arrived. can you believe it? they did what they promised. crazy.

i have a really big problem with inefficiency. clearly. but when an establishment like the united states goddamn postal service has so clearly become a dysfunctional business environment, i get angry. long lines i can deal with (and have to. every time i go there), but if all of your employees are esl (at best) and most of them can’t even take the time to complete the job that another employee failed to do? not okay.

needless to say, the usps will be getting a strongly worded letter from me.